A Shakespearean tragedy has befallen North Park as three new casualties litter the parking lot. The iconic yellow metal poles holding up the integrity of this school have toppled. This incident is one of many vehicle-based tragedies plaguing the school.
Student investigators swept the scene and were horrified by what they saw. By tracing the remains of their broken bodies with student chalk, they have seen firsthand the brutality these pillars of safe driving have gone through. Incidents like this are common. Take the parking signs out front or the poles holding up the saplings along North Park. Both are bent or toppled. But who is to blame?
Out in the field these incredible, brave, attractive student reporters have discovered traces of a cover-up! Two of three pole bases were removed, as if they never existed. But we have eyes! We know those poles existed; we know what those poles have done for us. And yet, school staff choose to repay them by denying their disappearance and paving over their stories. They weren’t just poles. They were children, parents, cousins, acquaintances. Who is to blame?!
These truly amazing and intelligent student reporters contacted a cousin of the victim. Sadly, Large Metal-Pole had little to say. But according to the passionately insightful, confident, considerate student reporters interviewing them, they were visibly shaken over having to think about the death of their relative, Wrecked Metal-Pole. How many happy pole families need to be ripped apart before action is taken and the Peel District School Board stops covering up these crimes? And the question we must all be asking: Who is to blame?!
Without a reasonable doubt, the Peel District School Board is responsible for the cover up! They need to protect the esteemed reputation of the culprit. The one group who is beloved by all, with a perfect track record: Brampton drivers. Whether it be students who have just gained their license or a simple slip up from the many incredibly talented brampton drivers. Either way there is probably proof that the culprits were intoxicated by either drugs, jazz music, or even video games! It could even be all three! That is the only way Brampton drivers could make any mistakes.
These cars are a widely-recognised threat to the safety of poles, so where is the awareness? The poles should have known better! Why don’t we collectively make sure these poles stay safe? Why don’t we care enough to prevent this? Where are the classes teaching poles to avoid cars?
Written by Asher D. and Avery V.
THE NORTH STAR 