Many Canadians believe that geese are blood-curdling savages that want to rip everyone into shreds. They kind of are but, for the following reasons, they should still be granted permanent residence at North Park.
To start, they provide some sense of entertainment! Recently, the geese have been noted for attacking students who have been disturbing their peace. They usually hiss, start rapidly flapping their wings, jumping around, and more. So far, they have attacked around 3-5 students. Now, yeah, they may be a tad bit violent, but we can’t deny the amount of chaos and news they have brought for us! Just take a look around for a bit. The North Star has an article dedicated to geese attacks; several posters have been placed around the schools, asking for students to leave the geese alone and several videos have surfaced of students being humbled by the geese. Oh, and don’t tell me you don’t snicker while your friends frantically explain how they almost met the Grim Reaper himself in the courtyard.
Concerning their fierce behavior, you know what? I just realized they’d make excellent guards for the courtyard. We all know North Park can be a chaotic place. Kids vaping, running around, throwing stuff. Not even North Park but Brampton itself is crazy. Just imagine if we let the geese stay. If their loud squeals, piercing black eyes, and waddles can scare the buffest students, imagine what they could do for us if we trained them!
Now we must not overlook the way the geese have bonded us students! The mother’s goose and her eggs were being stroked and targeted by multiple pupils at the start of the school year. Students began to arrive with food, clothing, and other items after one of them chose to present a cup. The geese eventually became our family; we would visit them when we were passing by, sit next to them, and confide in them completely. Could they understand us? No, but at least they stayed still and gave us their full attention, unlike some students who don’t realize sticking in an airpod while talking to someone is quite disrespectful.
Finally, though it pains me to mention it as my final reason, the geese should be granted permanent residence because their eggs are dead. You did read correctly. Ms. Blackwood claims that, because of the pupils’ persistent attacks, the eggs are not alive. If they were still living, I could agree that they should go, but since the eggs have already perished as a result of our stupidity, the least we can do is give them a place to live. Or even a funeral? Until they are at last over their loss and prepared to begin a new chapter in their life.
I understand that after being mentally tortured by some sassy bird, it’s quite hard to see the positive side to this situation. But honestly, whose fault is that? Who relentlessly tortured the bird? Who poked its eggs? Who recorded them without their consent? US!! If nothing else, we ought to provide them with a lovely home that they can show off to their other Geese aunts and uncles or work buddies.
THE NORTH STAR 