With exams coming at the end of June, stress is rising. However, stressing is stupid and so are you for doing it. Instead, you need to follow these five basic steps to stay 100% stress-free over these last few weeks:
- Don’t study. It is literally so easy. If you don’t do any studying, you won’t gain stress from it. Studying is stressful because it reminds you of how little you actually know. So don’t stress out reminding yourself of that. Instead, just block it out and forget about it. You should instead use that valuable time to play relaxing video games like Cuphead, Getting Over It, and Dark Souls III.
- Drink at least five cans of an energy drink of your choice. Caffeine is a stimulant which means it makes you feel good; that’s just basic science. There are so many amazing flavours of energy drinks out there. Take this as an opportunity to try them all! So if you want to stay energised, happy, and refreshed, then drink not one, but five cans of an energy drink of your choice.
- Stay indoors. The outside world is full of things that’ll stress you out. Reckless drivers, fluctuating temperatures and, worst of all, other people. You need to bring any human contact to a minimum. Ghost your loved ones and be as incredibly toxic as you can when you have to be around them. And if you have any overdue or upcoming projects, make sure to contact your teacher as late as possible. They’re teachers; it’s literally their job to improve your education. They have to help you. So stay in and don’t talk to anyone face to face.
- Don’t overeat. Stress eating is a common habit during stressful times, which is why you should keep eating and drinking to a minimum. Make sure to either skip breakfast, lunch, or even both in order to avoid stress eating. You should also make sure to NEVER drink water. The only liquid going into your body should be the minimum five cans of energy drink previously stated. And make sure to only consume highly greasy and sugary foods as they provide the most dopamine.
- Finally, this might be the most obvious point but it still must be stated: don’t waste your time sleeping. You can’t follow the previous steps if you’re snoozing away the hours. Make sure to use the time you’re given to the maximum. Don’t waste a single minute keeping yourself calm. You should be doing your best to work at reducing stress so keep sleep to a maximum of five hours of sleep. As I always say, “You’ll feel most alive, with only five.”
If you follow these steps, you’ll be at peak stress reduction. You’ll be calm, serene, and ready to take on the exams at the end of June. I would wish you luck, but you won’t need it with a regiment like this!
THE NORTH STAR 